New Years Eve
by VivoRisataAmore
Summary: New Years Eve can have more than one type of fireworks, Kate Beckett sure understands that now. A series of New Years Eve one shots, from the year after Johanna's death through to the begining 2012.
1. Chapter 1

Happy New Year people, at least here in Australia… writing this as the countdown goes off on TV. And there are the fireworks.

Kate breathed in the chilly night air, feeling the way that it burnt her lungs and grimacing. She wanted to be inside, in the warmth but everyone was there and she just couldn't handle it. The pounding music, the drunken co-eds, the blissful happiness of everyone she saw. It was almost a year but it wasn't getting any easier, she was still struggling with her mother's death and seeing people so unaware of the pain that life causes made her feel sick to her stomach.

She tugged at the hemline on her dress, trying to pull the too short material down to give her some warmth. Cursing herself for caving and wearing what her friends had called 'appropriate New Year's Eve attire' rather than the jeans she wanted Kate looked around for a seat. The party was at some rich kid's parents' holiday house in the Hamptons, so you would expect plenty of entertaining areas but looking around there was nothing, they must have been put away for the winter.

She could still smell the cigarette smoke and alcohol, it made her want to puke. It had only been a few months after her mother's death when she had started to get calls in the mid-morning to go get her Dad from some dingy bar. The calls were sparse at first but now it was all the time, finally she had given up, she would just call a taxi and leave him with the rest.

As a young couple followed her out the door, mouths interlocked and stumbling around a corner Kate headed in the other direction, wanting nothing more than to escape. She walked down the driveway on autopilot, not even thinking about where she was going until her heels hit the white road marking line and a car screeched to a halt beside her.

Kate could barely hear the insults that the driver was hurling, she was too focused on stepping back and running. She needed to move, to leave, to do something. Hearing the rumbling waves crashing on the beach Kate quickly walked in the direction, slipping off her heels as her feet sank into the soft sand.

Her pace slackened as she felt the icy water on her toes, then her ankles and her calves. She just stood there for a moment, letting the water wash over her feet, it was absolutely freezing but she liked it. After a while she couldn't feel anything. 'Wouldn't it be great if she could do that to her heart?' Kate thought to herself.

Here it was, her first New Years as a college student. Wasn't she supposed to be hooking up with some buffed up idiot rather than walking along an almost deserted beach on her own? Kate felt loneliness seeping into her bones and stepped further into the water, feeling it hitting her knees now.

Kate heard a rush of music and then a door shutting, followed by the same sound and footsteps on a wooden deck behind her. Kate didn't turn, she just kept looking at the dark sea swirling around her legs.

'Alexis, you need to come back inside, it's cold out here.'

'But Daddy, she's going to be cold.' The little voice stated, obviously pouting at her father.

Kate could hear the Dad ushering the girl back inside, trying to keep his deep voice down. Luckily for him and his inability to whisper Kate wasn't listening, she was too busy blinking back the tears.

Couldn't she just be normal for once?

As the door opened once again people began to pour out, Kate decided to leave the water but she couldn't face the party again. Instead she walked back onto the sand, shivering as the air made contact with her thin wet legs. They began a loud countdown and Kate walked to the edge of the sand where the grass met the beach and sat down.

Their voices carried over to her, ringing in her ears, 'five, four, three, two, one.'

Bangs, cheers and pops filled the air as people began to ring in the New Year, calling out well wishes and popping champagne bottles as the fireworks lit up the winter sky.

Sitting on the edge of the sand Kate laid back on the cold grass, watching the bright lights, 'happy fucking New Year to me.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Time jump, see if you can figure out to when… **

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><p>Nine year, nine incredibly taxing years had passed since that late November ninth when she found Raglan waiting for them on the doorstep. Where was she now? She was putting on a brave face for Lanie and the boys, the sound of music reverberating through her thin body, making her quake.<p>

Holidays were never her favourite time, really they sucked. Holidays were time for family, which was something Kate lacked. Sure she had her Dad but he spent holidays with his AA buddies now, less temptation he called it. So she was left to face the gaping hole in her heart alone. Most years she managed to escape the parties, she would stay at home and watch the ball drop on TV but this year Lanie had insisted on dragging her to the party.

Lanie was worried about the detective, and her worry only increased every time Kate declined an invitation. She was getting more and more shut off, even if she was trying to get over everything to do with her mother's case. In order to push it to the back of her mind Kate had to let go of all her emotions and ties to other people, because letting herself think about things would invariably lead to her thinking about her mother and the case, it was her own personal Pandora's Box.

As the countdown began Kate made her way to the edge of the crowd where everyone was jostling to get near the window for a decent view of the fireworks. On the edge she felt safer, she could get away if she needed to.

Slowly the countdown fell, Kate tried to join in, her voice was raspy from a long day and the lump in her throat wasn't helping. As the fireworks exploded on the dark night sky Kate felt random arms wrapping around her lightly and lips met her cheek quickly only to be replaced by set after set, she went about the obligatory offerings of well wishes automatically.

In a daze she wished Lanie the best for 2009 and told the ME that she was going to head off, killers didn't sleep after all and she was on call. Lanie wished her a slightly tipsy happy New Year and told her to stay but Kate declined, not wanting to get too caught up in the celebrations. As she walked away Kate heard the ME yelling to her turned back, 'next year I'll make sure that you have a reason to stay Katherine.'

Kate turned and laughed, letting the ME know that she was challenging her to do just that. Smiling slightly Kate made her way out the door, the feeling of helplessness wasn't as strong now, she had just made it through the change of a New Year without shedding a tear or two. Maybe 2009 would hold some hope after all.

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><p><strong>Short but I just wanted to write it since it was the year that Rick joined her, I think… <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**At the moment it's 40 degrees (or 104 degrees for all you Fahrenheiters) and it's been this way all week, I know it could be higher (and it has been) but I am lobster pink from sunburn and completely zapped of energy so please forgive me if this is a bit lacking. **

Only half listening to the small talk of the conversation around her, Kate looked out over the crowded room, searching for a familiar face. Her green eyes were drawn of course to the writer who was leaning against a door frame, talking animatedly to someone she had never heard of in her life.

It had been an eventful year, to say the least. She'd gotten a partner, if she wanted to call him that. He'd delved into her mother's murder, dragging up everything she had tried to push away. He'd teased her and comforted her, became a friend rather than an annoyance. Something about him was captivating to her, he was no longer just her favourite author, he was her friend. And although she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she was thankful.

Kate took another sip of the expensive champagne Castle had insisted on pouring her when she had arrived. As soon as she entered it was obvious that the party was going to be loud, something that Kate had already known from his Halloween party two months ago.

They had closed their last case for the year two weeks before, maybe the killers of New York were too busy celebrating but whatever it was, they had been given a break. In Castle's words, it was the perfect time to prepare for his New Year's Eve party.

From how full the loft was Kate was sure that he had invited half of New York, everyone from the mayor to Officer Velasquez, a uniform from the twelfth, was here. Given the amount of people she had barely been able to talk to him since she arrived, there was a quick hello and he gave her the champagne but other than that they had only shared glances and small smiles across the crowded room.

In a wave the room began to change, all looked towards the giant window in hopes of seeing some of the fireworks that would soon be gracing the sky. As per her usual habit Kate stuck to the back, only this year she didn't stand alone. As the countdown began Kate felt eyes on her, looking slightly up she saw Castle standing there, glass of champagne in one hand and a smile on his face. She smiled at him slightly, not bothering to yell anything over the noise of everyone else in the room. As the first sparks of the dazzling light show lit up the room Rick leant down and kissed her cheek lightly, whispering Happy New Year into her ear.

'Happy New Year Castle,' Kate returned the sentiment before he was enveloped in a hug by his daughter.

Lanie bustled up beside her and gave her a hug, wishing her all the best. 'Who would have thought that you would still be here a minute after midnight…' Lanie said, her own personal joke.

Kate laughed lightly, 'stranger things have happened.'

'Detective, Happy New Year!' A slightly drunken Martha caught Kate up in a hug which she returned gratefully.

As she wished everyone else she knew good luck Kate pondered if this was what New Years was supposed to be. For once she wasn't sitting on her own or by the wall waiting till she could leave, she was smiling and laughing feeling like there is hope for 2010 after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I lied, but anyway… here you go, another slightly weird chapter.**

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><p>Kate got ready in a rush, she had only just gotten home and she was supposed to be at the party five minutes ago. Slipping into the figure hugging red dress, she tried to push away the thought that Castle liked her in red and rushed back into her routine.<p>

Despite having booked the night off Josh was at the hospital, one of his patients had needed emergency surgery and so, Kate was left to go to Castle's New Year's Eve party alone. Not that she minded all that much, things between Josh and her friends always seemed a little tense so him not being there meant she got to be a little bit more social.

Castle hadn't been planning on having a party this year, until he bought the bar in early December of course. Tonight the Old Haunt had been decorated courtesy of Rick, Martha and Alexis, plus a little help from herself. Kate had been roped into helping him plan since it was so last minute and she had once again caught up on all her paperwork during the odd break between cases.

They had spent the day finding everything, searching all over New York for those last minute things. Really it was the best New Year's Eve day that she could remember, most New Year's felt a little anti-climactic but this year, it felt right.

Finally she had gotten home, only to sit down and turn on her laptop. That was her downfall, she got caught up and lost track of time, and now she was late.

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><p>Breathless she made it to the Old Haunt only a little bit late, everyone else was still showing up. Kate sighed in relief and made her way into the dark bar. Instantly she searched for Castle, but it was almost impossible, the bar was packed.<p>

'Beckett!' She turned towards Esposito who was standing in the corner with Jenny and Ryan.

Despite being packed it wasn't that loud so she didn't need to yell, 'hey guys, have you seen Castle?'

Ryan just pointed to the bar, laughing when he saw Rick fumble the bottle he was holding quickly as he caught sight of his favourite detective. He finished making the drink and handed it to the man before walking over to her.

'I thought you weren't going to show up.'

'After all the work I put into this? There's no way.' Kate leant against the bar leaning further towards him. 'What are you doing behind the bar anyway?'

'One of the guys who was supposed to be here an hour ago is stuck in traffic, he said that he'd be here soon.' Castle shrugged, 'I don't mind though, I've always wanted to try this.'

She stood there silently for a moment, just looking at him as he did the same. The white shirt showed off his baby blue eyes perfectly, those eyes that were proving what she had thought earlier. He really liked her in red. 'Well Mr Bar tender, make me something.'

'What would you like?' He asked, jolting himself from his most likely inappropriate thoughts.

Beckett smirked, 'surprise me.'

'Well look who's here.' Beckett looked towards the door but didn't recognise anyone so he explained. 'The bar tender just arrived. Why don't you wait over with the guys and I'll join you all in a minute with your drink.'

'Sounds good Castle.'

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><p>She felt an arm around her waist and the owner spun her around, she placed her hands on his chest to brace herself. Wait, the shirt was blue, not white.<p>

'Josh!' Looking up Kate gasped in surprise, 'I thought you were working.'

'I was, but I made it here and just in time too.'

'For what?' Kate asked, praying that she was keeping a straight face and hiding her disappointment.

'New Years, what else?' Josh chuckled.

'Yeah, I forgot,' Kate laughed humourlessly. 'I can't believe you made it.'

'I didn't want to disappoint you.'

Unsure of what to say Beckett just wrapped her arms around him. She looked over his shoulder at the bar, searching for the writer but she couldn't see him.

'Did you want a drink?' Josh asked as they separated.

'No, Castle was bringing me one.' She smiled at Josh as he turned and walked to the bar by himself.

'Dr Motorcycle Boy decided to turn up then,' Castle said as he handed her the glass filled with a spectacularly pink drink, she thought that there was a hint of disappointment in his tone but quashed the thought quickly, he was still with Gina and she had Josh now.

'Where's Gina? I haven't seen her yet.'

'She can't make it,' Rick shrugged. 'Publishers have important places to be and I understand.'

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><p>As the countdown began the doctor's arm around her shoulder felt heavy, it wasn't attached to the right guy and she knew it. She looked over at the writer who was standing next to Alexis and Ashley, staring morosely into his drink. Why couldn't she be with him?<p>

The new year was looming and a few seconds from it happening they both looked at each other with the same adoration filled but hopeless look. In that moment, Kate knew that the cosmic balance was shifting inside of her, she was losing the battle with self-control.

'Happy new year, Kate,' Josh caught her chin and kissed her quickly, he knew that she didn't like public displays of affection.

She smiled up at him, hoping that her betrayal wasn't shining in her eyes, 'happy new year, Josh.'

Next year, she assured herself. Next year would be their year.

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><p><strong>Thank you for the reviews, favourites and alerts, they always make my day.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter, so I hope you like it. Sorry it's a bit late but I have a feeling it's not being read by the girl who it was for anyway so that doesn't really matter. Still, next year I will make sure to do a one shot. **

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><p>'Kate, what are you doing tonight?'<p>

'Nothing, I was planning on ringing in the new year on the couch with some wine.'

'Well, as much as that sounds like my planned evening I was going to go down to the Old Haunt if you want to join me.'

She paused for a moment, was this a date? 'I don't know Castle.'

'Come on, I'm going to ask the guys and Lanie too.'

'Fine,' Kate smiled as she feigned reluctance, so very glad that he wasn't standing in front of her right now to see the smile gracing her beautiful face and the slight spin she may or may not have been doing in celebration.

'Alright, be there in an hour.' He couldn't even hide the happiness that carried through the phone line.

They were as bad as two teenagers.

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><p>Walking into the bar she searched for her friends, seeing Rick sitting along in one of the booths she headed over and dumped her jacked on the seat. 'Where are the others?'<p>

'Ryan and Jenny are with her parents, Lanie was… cryptic and Espo wasn't able to make it either.'

'So it's just us.' Kate said awkwardly.

'Yeah, Alexis decided that her friend's party was way cooler than hanging with her Dad and Mother, is God knows where.' He said, pretending to be more hurt than he was since he could never be upset when he got to spend the evening with his favourite detective.

Shaking her head she played along, 'don't worry Castle, I'll look after you.'

He smiled at her, leaning back into the soft cushioning of the booth. 'Can I get you a drink?'

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><p>A couple of hours, and a drink or two too many Kate was standing with the rest of the crowd, singing along to the piano in a slightly tipsy ramble. As she stepped back too quickly she almost took a tumble but Castle caught her, she patted his arm once she was stable and tried to yell thanks over the noise of the crowd.<p>

'No problem and as funny as drunk Beckett is I don't think you'll be getting anymore alcohol.'

'I'm not drunk, I'm tipsy.' She took a step towards him and felt everything spin, 'alright, I might be slightly drunk.'

Castle chuckled and led her to the edge of the crowd, how was it that they always ended up near the edge? 'Did you want to sit down?'

'No! The countdown is about to start, it's almost 2012.'

'You do realise, that this could be our last New Year's Eve.'

Kate rolled her eyes and said, without an inch of sadness for it was something that she had long ago accepted, 'I'm a cop, every New Year's Eve could be my last.'

He stared at her for a moment as the countdown began, remembering the last countdown that they had experienced and how much he wanted to kiss her but instead he did the stupidest, but in the end, most brave thing that he ever had done and pulled the wires.

They looked at each other as the year changed over, it was officially 2012 and Kate would be damned if she wasn't going to start it out right. Even though she was in heels Kate stood a little higher on her toes and pulled him down towards he slightly. It was a quick kiss, not chaste but not passionate, it was just a promise. She dropped back to her normal height, but kept her hand resting lightly on his neck, 'happy New Year, Rick.'

Dazed he replied, 'Happy New Year, Kate.'

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><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews, favourites and alerts. It was great to see that you were enjoying it, or if you are just silently enjoying it that's okay because I wrote this one not for me but for you, so if someone else liked it then that's great. But thank you all for support, even though it was slightly terrible. Best wishes to you all, for the already started year… <strong>


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